Somebody stole my Butt

Last night while I was sleeping
somebody stole my butt.
They ran off with my feet and legs.
They even got my gut.

It seems they swiped my elbows,
my arms and shoulders too.
My chest and back have disappeared.
I’m not sure what to do.

They made off with my head as well.
They nabbed my neck and throat.
Now all that’s left is just my hand.
It’s writing you this note.

— Kenn Nesbitt