Opposite

It’s Opposite Day!
It’s Opposite Day!
The day to do things
in the opposite way.

I wear my pants backward.
My shirt’s inside out.
I scream to talk softly.
I whisper to shout.

I write with my foot and
I kick with my hand.
I stare with my eyes closed.
I sit down to stand.

I drink from a plate and
I eat from a cup.
I climb into bed when
it’s time to wake up.

I frown when I’m happy.
I smile when I’m sad.
I say, “I like liver,
but ice cream is bad.”

I claim that it’s dark
when it’s sunny and bright.
If something is black,
I insist that it’s white.

I stand still for dancing.
When running, I crawl.
So please understand:
I don’t like you at all.

–Kenn Nesbitt