My dog likes to dig, making holes in our lawn.He digs every morning beginning at dawn.He digs like a maniac all afternoon,and even at night by the light of the moon. I wish he would stop but he’s out of control,and works up a sweat digging hole after hole.He’s fevered and frenzied. He’s hot as […]
Phoenix came from Dallas.Dallas came from Austin.Austin came from Lowell.Lowell came from Boston. Carolina came from Georgia.Georgia’s from Savannah.Savannah came from Jackson.Jackson’s from Montana. Virgina came from Maryland.Mary’s from Dakota.Dakota’s from St. Paul.And Paul’s from Minnesota. Madison is from Cheyenne.Cheyenne is from Nebraska.I wonder where the teacher’s from?I think maybe Alaska. — Kenn Nesbitt
My dog is not the smartest dog alive.He seems to think that two and two make five.He’s sure Japan’s the capital of France.He says that submarines know how to dance. My dog declares that tigers grow on trees.He argues only antelopes eat cheese.He tells me that he’s twenty nine feet tall,then adds that ants are […]
Celebrate the wondrous mammal:Bison, beaver, cheetah, camel,panther, panda, pygmy shrew,chimpanzee, and caribou,weasel, wolf, raccoon, and rat,badger, bandicoot, and bat,rhino, reindeer, rabbit, ram,llama, leopard, lion, lamb,elk, echidna, hamster, hog,marmot, meerkat, dolphin, dog,lemur, lemming, bobcat, bear,walrus, wombat, hippo, hare,kob, koala, kangaroo,naked mole rat, numbat, gnu,aardvark, ape, orangutan,mongoose, manatee, and man.These and more are in the family,furry, four-limbed, […]
My chicken’s on the Internet.She surfs the web all day.I’ve tried to stop her browsingbut, so far, there’s just no way. She jumps up on the mouseand then she flaps around like madto click on every hyperlinkand every pop-up ad. She plays all sorts of chicken games.She messages her folks.She watches chicken videosand forwards chicken […]
My name is Bob. I have a job.My job is crushing cans,like Coca Cola, 7Up,and lots of other brands. I flatten cans from Mr. Pibb,and Dr. Pepper too,Sierra Mist, and RC Cola,Sprite, and Mountain Dew. I whack them with a hammer orI beat them with a bat,to pound the Pepsi, squash the Squirt,and press the […]
When the teacher’s back is turned,we never scream and shout.Never do we drop our booksand try to freak her out. No one throws a pencilat the ceiling of the class.No one tries to hit the fire alarmand break the glass. We don’t cough in unisonand loudly clear our throats.No one’s shooting paper wadsor passing little […]
Forget that two times four is eight.Forget the name of every state.Forget the answers on the test.Forget which way is east and west.Forget the myths of ancient Rome.Forget to bring your books from home.Forget the words you learned to spell.Forget to hear the recess bell.Forget your homeroom teacher’s name.Forget the after-school game.Forget which team’s supposed […]
My sister’s pretty picky.She likes to pick a fight.She always wants to pick the filmon family movie night. She picks her teeth with toothpicks.She’s skilled at picking locks.She picks her Minecraft pickaxeto pick away at blocks. She’s always picking flowers.She picks on her guitar.She’s even picky when she’spicking out a candy bar. I only wish […]
THAT GUY: Smart