I’m staying home from school today.I’d rather be in bedpretending that I have a painthat’s pounding in my head. I’ll say I have a stomach ache.I’ll claim I’ve got the flu.I’ll shiver like I’m coldand hold my breath until I’m blue. I’ll fake a cough. I’ll fake a sneeze.I’ll say my throat is sore.If necessary […]
My dog does my homeworkat home every night.He answers each questionand gets them all right. There’s only one problemwith homework by Rover.I can’t turn in workthat’s been slobbered all over. –Kenn Nesbitt
Nathaniel Nasteonce ate some pastehe’d taken home from school.He scooped a bitand tasted itand hollered like a fool.His face got lacedwith paste that gracedhis forehead and his hair.Some paste got placedupon his waistwhich glued him to his chair. Nathaniel criedand, mortified,his mother came to see.She tugged, she tried,she pulled and priedbut couldn’t get him free.For […]
My favorite word is “floofy.”It’s such a floofy word.In fact, I’d say that floofyis the floofiest I’ve heard. I use it when I’m floofing up,or when I’m all floofed out.Whenever I feel floofy-doofI give a floofy shout! I may not know what floofy means.But — floofy! — that’s okay.I’m sure it’s floofy floofy floofto floof […]
Please don’t read this poem.It’s only meant for me.That’s it. Just move along now.There’s nothing here to see. Besides, I’m sure you’d ratherjust go outside and play.So put the poem down nowand slowly back away. Hey, why are you still reading?That isn’t very nice.I’ve asked you once politely.Don’t make me ask you twice. I’m telling […]
In a toystoreon a Sundaywith a dollar forty nineI need somethingjust a dumb thingfor my brand newValentine. Oh my darling.Oh my darling.Oh my darlingValentine.I’m uneasy,kind of queasy,but you’re still myValentine. Yes, it happenedin the classroomwhen you said“Will you be mine?”I was muddledand befuddled,so I answered,“Yeah, that’s fine.” Then you called mein the lunchroom.You had saved […]
While shopping at the pet storeI got my fondest wish.I bought myself a fish bowland then a pair of fish. And since I was alreadyout shopping at the storeI thought I ought to purchaseanother smidgen more. And so I got a rabbit,a hamster and a frog,a gerbil and a turtle,a parrot and a dog. I […]
I am Levitating Lester.I am lighter than a feather.I’m as buoyant as a bubble.I am weightless altogether. If you carefully observe meyou will see me floating soon.I will rise up from my mattresslike a helium balloon. Yes, it happens every morning:I awaken in my bed,and I drift up to the ceilingwhere I sometimes bump my […]
They call me Captain Talkalot.I really don’t know why.I only talk when I’m awake.I’m such a quiet guy. It’s true I talk from sunrisetill the moment I’m in bed,then spend the evening dreamingof the things I should have said. But, really, I don’t talk too much.I just say what I think,which could be while I’m […]
Aimee 107: HA HA HA HA
phoenix: yeah thats true for the last part