We’re having a Halloween party at school.I’m dressed up like Dracula. Man, I look cool!I dyed my hair black and I cut off my bangs.I’m wearing a cape and some fake plastic fangs. I put on some makeup to paint my face whitelike creatures that only come out in the night.My fingernails, too, are all […]
Don’t bring camels in the classroom.Don’t bring scorpions to school.Don’t bring rhinos, rats, or reindeer.Don’t bring mice or moose or mule. Pull your penguin off the playground.Put your python in a tree.Place your platypus whereveryou think platypi should be. Lose your leopard and your lemur.Leave your llama and your leech.Take your tiger, toad and toucananywhere […]
The Principal is missing.He’s nowhere to be found.The teachers tried to page himand they’ve hunted all around. He isn’t in the staff room.He isn’t in the gym,and all the kids are wonderingjust what’s become of him. We’ve looked in every classroom.We’ve peeked in every hall.We even checked the bathroomsand inspected every stall. He isn’t in […]
My teacher ate my homework,which I thought was rather odd.He sniffed at it and smiledwith an approving sort of nod. He took a little nibble —it’s unusual, but true —then had a somewhat larger biteand gave a thoughtful chew. I think he must have liked it,for he really went to town.He gobbled it with gustoand he wolfed the whole thing down. […]
I purchased a virtual puppy.He lives in an app on my phone.He digs in a virtual gardento bury a virtual bone. I feed him with virtual dog food.I’m teaching him virtual tricks,like giving me virtual handshakesand fetching his virtual sticks. He naps on a virtual sofa.He likes to chase virtual cats.Whenever he’s good I reward […]
I stood in line to get some punch.I wanted some to drink with lunch.The line was long. The line was slow.It seemed to take an hour or so.At last I got up to the front.The serving lady gave a gruntand punched me squarely on the nose,which made me groan. That’s how it goes.I shook my […]
Yesterday I took a test.I got a perfect score.A perfect score is somethingthat I’ve never had before. My teacher nearly fainted.My parents were impressedto think that I knew every singleanswer on the test. But that’s not how I did it.No, it was only luck.I guessed on every answer;not just ones where I was stuck. I […]
My nostril smells awesome inside of my nose,a bit like the bloom of a newly-picked rose.It started this morning–I couldn’t say why–and all day it’s smelled like banana cream pie. It has the aroma of freshly-baked breadwith hot melted butter and blackberry spread,and maybe the breeze of a warm afternoon,that follows a thunderstorm early in […]
I broke my mother’s iPhone.I didn’t mean to do it.I played a game that made me mad,and that was why I threw it. I tried to fix it quickly.I used a lot of tapeplus glue and gum and rubber bandsto put it back in shape. I thought I got it workingbut, when I turned it […]
